Ask Sokka and Toph
by Carrot-Bunny
Summary: Sokka and Toph are here to answer all your questions, whether it's about love, school, friends or what to eat for breakfast! Now moved to ask-sokka-n-toph . tumblr . com (remove spaces). See you there!
1. Column 1

Helloooo people and welcome to our new column 'Ask Sokka and Toph'! This is the place where you can get the chance to kick back, relax and, um…

**Ask Sokka and Toph.**

Right, that's it! So anyway, if you didn't know already I'm Sokka, and this here is Toph, and we're going to answer your letters here! Yup, we'll be replying just about any question you throw at us, so bring it on and – Ow, Toph what was that for?!

**When Snoozles says we'll be replying any question you send in to us, he forgot a few details. We do have our own limits to exactly how much we're going to share with you guys – for example, if I get any idiot asking for the gazillionth time who Lin's father is I'll rockalanche him into next month, so don't get any ideas. And contrary to what the summary says, I really wouldn't advise asking what to eat for breakfast tomorrow, because I didn't sign up for this thing to argue with Sokka on the virtues of pancakes versus cereal.**

No, you're here because you're bored stiff with waiting for the next Legend of Korra season to air so you dragged Carrot away from her manga-reading to start a new humor/parody fic because that's pretty much the only interaction you're willing to have with the fanfiction world.

**More or less. Now before Sokka gets into another of his lengthy explanations again, we'll give you an example of how things here will be done, with a letter kindly contributed by Carrot's no-longer-eleven sister. Basically, the letters will be in italic, like this:**

_Dear Sokka and Toph (or Toph and Sokka, whatever suits you, I don't care),_

_What should I do if someone who I don't really like in a 'like' sort of way shows signs of actually liking me? You know, as in 'like' liking?_

_Yours sincerely,  
Kawaii-Aang_

**Then Sokka and I will answer: his replies are in normal font while mine are in bold. And in case you're wondering how I can write this without be able to see, I'm using a voice recognition input system we installed into Carrot's laptop using a plot hole and a screwdriver. That's all I'll tell you.**

Great, now can we get to the answering already? First of all, Kawaii-Aang, what's with that name? And second, of course it should be 'Sokka and Toph' and not the other way around, this is the 'Ask Sokka and Toph' column after all!

**First of all, it's not our job to question every name we come across in the letters, and besides, so what if she thinks Twinkletoes is cute? And you're just trying to make the most of having your name first after what happened during the AtLA Awards.**

Well, duh! I already said back then my name should come first, but then you guys threatened to replace me with Momo if I didn't shut up! Anyway Kawaii (I can just call you that, right? Because Kawaii-Aang is a bit of a mouthful), if you don't have any romantic feelings for that guy but you think he might feel that way about you, then just make it clear that you want to be friends and nothing more. I'm not suggesting you walk right up to him and yell the fact into his face, but don't try to lead him on by being overly close to him. Set some boundaries and use a bit of aloofness, and he'll get the hint.

**You told Aang to act aloof when he asked you for advice on how to chase girls. Isn't that sort of contradictory?**

Wait, how did you know about that?!

**I've been rewatching (in a manner of speaking) Book 1 since I've got nothing better to do. It's always fun to see how you guys struggled to survive before you met me.**

*cough*Narcissist*cough*. Well, that's the lowdown on how the show is run, and now it's your turn to write in! Send your letters to Carrot-Bunny's private messaging inbox on her profile and not through reviewing, for we don't want this fic to be deleted like the AtLA Awards, do we? Anyone without an account can submit questions through reviews, of course, but we give PMs top priority here!

**So go click on Carrot's penname at the top of the page to get to her profile, and start writing those letters! And by the way, any advice given here is followed at your own risk, especially Sokka's.**

Hey!

**Till the next column, guys! See ya!**

Toph, you'd better take that back or else – hey, who turned out the lights? Where'd everyone go? Guys? Hello?


	2. Column 2

_The writing quality is fine, but the following part of the Content Guidelines is broken if you use any review to guide this story so far:__Entries not allowed:_

_5\. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&amp;As, and etc.__Here are four solutions to make this a rule-complaint story:__  
__1\. Please make sure you accept requests via PM only.__  
__2\. You can create a forum where you place the requests and people can submit and continue to interact as the story evolves.__  
__3\. Please delete and repost while utilizing either Solutions #1 or #2. This is to remove the 'evidence' of your story being interactive to the admins. However, the more reviews you already have, the more reluctant you will be to do this. So do not push this one.__  
__4\. Take it to a forum where the characters can interact and pretty much role play to their hearts content.__  
__Extra note: Just be aware that some reviewers are unaware, so chances are a bunch will still review with requests despite the way you get submissions. You might need to be advised of it.__Try to write one-shots around the letters that are bent sent to you via PM.__From: catspats31, Member of Eliminator (a group somewhat similar to Critics United)_

Dear catspats31 (do I have to add the stuff at the back? No, right?),

Well, Carrot did say we'd get something like this eventually. We never thought it would be this soon though.

**Wait, isn't this the same group that guy from the AtLA Awards came from? You know, that Mr. Perfectionist guy?**

Yeah, I think it is. Well then, since we all know each other more or less that makes things easier. We did state in the last column that PMed letters will be answered first, as demonstrated above with the first three letters, although we left yours for last since yours was kind of a last-minute addition to today's column. However, people without accounts on this site can't PM or submit forum entries, which is why we still left the review option open.

**Unfortunately, your group does have a certain degree of effectiveness, otherwise the AtLA Awards wouldn't have been deleted. By the way, you're definitely more polite than that Mr. Perfectionist. Thanks for the compliment on our writing, I was worried Sokka's replies would affect the quality of the column.**

Hey! Anyway folks, you've all seen the letter above, so if you don't want to see this column deleted as well then you'll just have to take the time to log into your account and PM your letters. Or get your own account, for those of you who don't have one. Won't be too much trouble.

**We hope this thing won't stop you from writing in though, because frankly I've never had so much fun since the time my metalbending school was almost set on fire.**

Don't ask about it, please. And about the whole 'no Q&amp;A' rule, well, we're just fictional characters helping other people who may or may not be fictional as well solve their problems and answer their questions. So, no problem, eh?

Love, Sokka and Toph


	3. We've moved!

April to November. How many months is that, Toph?

**Seven.**

Thanks. Wow, and today's the 10th too. That's like, almost to the day we published the first column.

**And the second, which also happened to be the last. Carrot is way too good at slacking.**

Real life. It's the bane of fanfiction authors everywhere. Also, site rules are the bane of interactive fics like us.

**Which is why we're packing up and moving somewhere else. Breaking rules are fun and all, but not if all you're going to get for your troubles is being wiped off the map completely** .

So, we proudly present to you the location of our new home – Tum-bleh!

**Tumblr.**

Whatever, pronunciation was never one of my better skills. Apparently they have things called 'askblogs' there, which is just like what we're doing here, except they don't have to live in constant fear of being deleted.

**And ever since Carrot signed up, we've been exploring the site a bit. For one, she really seems to like hanging out there.**

Yeah, always going on about weird terms like 'hetalia' and 'free' and 'anime' and 'yaoi'. What the heck is 'yaoi'?

**Don't know, don't care. Anyway, we've finally set up our own askblog there, so we can keep this thing going. Also, we still have a couple of unanswered letters, which will be replied to on the blog.**

We're also gonna post previous replies, so the entire thing's complete, except for that Eliminator one. We'll leave that behind as an explanation for our move to… wait for it… ask-sokka-n-toph . tumblr . com! Spaces should be removed, obviously.

**So anyone who's been following this column so far (or should I say still following), thanks for not throwing us into the bin, and we'll be looking forward to seeing you on the new blog!**

And to anyone who's interested in checking us out, feel free! We welcome all questions, except, well, you'll know when you read the description on the blog.

**Yes you will. Okay, now that we've got this done, I'm off to watch (sort of) the latest episode of LoK. I can't believe I missed it last night just so Twinkletoes could drag us out for a joyride around his new republic whatever thingy.**

Sure, you do that.

**Later.**

Same to you. Right, now that she's gone, I can Google this 'yaoi' thing. No wait, I'll use Google Images, then I can just see what it's about. Let's see…

…

…

I have been scarred. I HAVE BEEN SCARRED.


End file.
